Alter-Ego Helps with Handling Fears

Could Your Child Use an Alter-Ego?

School is now open in part of my home state of Michigan. Parents as well as children are looking forward to school with a mixture of optimism…and terror. Some of the fears are the same for both child and parent.

Will my child make friends and be comfortable in class? How will I handle fights, teasing, jealousies and peer pressure?

You can help your child create a coping skill called an Alter-Ego. Ego means personality in this case. An alter-ego, combined with loving support, can be helpful while adjusting to a fear-inducing situation.

A teenager or young adult may be inspired by the fact that Beyonce’ has one. Her name is Sasha Fierce.  Beyonce’ almost quit performing due to her fears. I have experience with this because I, much less famously, have the same problem.

Beyonce’ created a personality type that allowed her real self to grow into coping with the unrelenting demands of great success. My alter-ego, since I had epilepsy as he did, was baseball pitcher Grover Cleveland Alexander.

Here’s a simple way to create your own.  If you want more information do a search on the internet with the keywords Alter Ego.

Begin by visualizing what fear you want your alter-ego to help you handle. Then what is your definition of success. Then set a time or situation limit in which to use your alter-ego.

Next, you begin to craft a look that fits with the goals of handling that fear. Beyonce’s chose “fierce”,  in the fashion world context of “fierce”. She made herself look like the person she was trying to project in public.

Finally, you go over the behaviors that you feel match the goal plan and the look that you create for the alter-ego. You aren’t pretending per se. Rather, you are projecting an image that softens the effect of anxiety and fear of rejection. Both of those kill a lot of dreams.

You must help your child turn off that alter-ego in private because he or she may get carried away otherwise. Persuade them to gradually drop the ego, in other words, when they don’t need it.

Acceptance will eventually help your child, as it helped Beyonce’, to cut back on Sasha Fierce as the real Beyonce’ matured. The alter-ego, however, can cause as well as solve problems. If the alter-ego causes problems consult a counselor through or outside of school to help the situation.

My experience was a mandatory speech class I had to pass in order to get my bachelor’s degree in social work. Shaping myself in that situation to another personality helped me learn how to present myself to others. When I got into ordinary situations I remembered that my alter-ego was successful; and that I could be as well!